Love the Dark
by ZekeFreek
Summary: Tamao did something horrible, and she'll never forgive herself. If she really loves Master Yoh then why is this so hard? Why can't she stop the tears and pain? YOHxTAMAO veiled oneshot. Sort of an experiment for me. Dark and Angst-ridden the way you like.


Shaman King ain't mine, fool!

Iacta: Okay, this is a oneshot I'm writing as we speak. This will be a dark, angst-ridden, sexually implicative, mature, senseless, ridiculous fanfic. The point of this fanfic is not to be taken as a serious take on the canon of shaman king. The point of this fanfic is to practice expanding my writing skills. Before I get started YOU MUST KNOW THE FOLLOWING:

I do not condone sex as the answer to psychological trauma.

This fanfic is NOT a sex scene, it implies it. Hopefully in a mature fashion.

This is, honestly a crackfic.

While I DO think Anna/Yoh/Tamao is an awesome three-way, I AM NOT THE ONE TO WRITE IT, AND CERTAINLY NOT HERE.

In your reviews, please be critical of the realism here, knowing that it is crackfic.

I am trying to expand my writing skills, please tell me what might be sketchy in your reviews.

The first half is purely exposition, the second half is a lot more serious.

Alright, now without further ado…

IactaMurmur presents…

* * *

Love the Dark

She wept, she cried. But for whatever reasons the tears just wouldn't stop coming. She twisted and turned from side to side to side and back again. Nothing helped, nothing could ease the pain.

Her name was Tamao, and she had done something wrong. It would appear to be nothing in the eyes of anybody, anybody else but her. He had once told her the only opinion that should matter is her own, in regards to herself.

But in her eyes, she had done something terrible. And she would never be able to forgive herself. As much as cried, and wanted to take it all back, she couldn't. It was impossible, the damage was done.

But what could've cause this agony inside of her? What action could possibly, in her own eyes, be so horrid, so vile and unforgivable that she would let herself be consumed by it?

It's quite simple really, _Tamao raised her voice to Master Yoh_…

The pillow was drowning in tears, a cushion a sympathy, and of understanding. But even a pillow would be confused as to why this was such a big deal to Tamao.

Why couldn't she get over it?

Tamao loved her master. More than anything, she loved Master Yoh. This is caused primarily because of the contrast between the two of them and way she grew up.

As she tried to stop the tears once again, she started picture herself. She was naïve, shy, quiet and socially awkward. Social Awkwardness is usually caused a general fear of things like rejection and commitment, and the belief that you are inferior in the eyes of most people.

Rolling over and huddling into a vulnerable position, she pictured Master Yoh. He was calm, cool and collected, caring, laid-back, and seemingly confident. And even when his confidence failed him, he never let that effect him. And although in many senses, Yoh was also Socially awkward, this stems from a different source.

Now she is all those things and he is all of those things, then let's throw in her upbringing thus far.

First off, she was an orphan. Also taking into account that she knew absolutely nothing about her parents other than assuming that one of their last names was probably "Tamamura".

Second, she raised by the Asakura family. Which really only consisted at this point of Yoh and Yohmei. And the occasional appearance of Mikihisa. This meant she and Yoh spent a lot of time together in early childhood.

At young ages, children are often attracted to people that are similar to them. This is why boys and girls don't commune much until they start to mature a little. Usually this lasts until about 9, 10 or 11 years of age.

Early childhood is often a risky time for a person's development because in a lot of ways in influences what kind of people they are later in life. This can be easily applied to mid-childhood and at the last stages of childhood.

By spending so much time together, Tamao had seen Yoh's traits in full light. She looked up to him because he was what she wished she could be.

Tamao loved her Master. But Yoh was already engaged. The worst part of this situation is that it was an _arranged_ marriage. This meant Yoh had no say in the process, which Tamao thought wasn't right for someone as free-spirited as Master Yoh.

This also made Tamao feel even more inferior than ever, as it made her feel as though she had lost her chance to be with Master Yoh. Actually it made her feel as if she never even had a chance.

Tamao stuffed her face into the pillow, everything smelled like salt. Tears were salty.

She admired Anna, she really did. Anna helped her to become a better person and is a great choice for master Yoh.

Tamao had convinced herself that it was better this way, and that if Master Yoh was happy, then it didn't matter. But she kept wondering…

She banged her head on the hardwood floor, "Why is it so hard!?!", he screamed in the quietest tone she could muster while still making a sound. Her pink hair was ruffled and messy due to rolling around so much.

She had convinced herself that her love for Yoh wasn't going to stop just because she couldn't have him herself. Why then? Why all this pain?

Why, with all this _love_ did she raise her voice at him?

"It… was a day like any other… why did it all go… so wrong…", she stuttered alone in the dark. Yoh had just finished telling her that she wasn't a waste of his time, that made her feel wonderful.

She could blame her idiotic spirits who aggravated her, she could blame the lame musicians that interrupted her moment. But what did it matter?

"They didn't raise their voices to Master Yoh… it was… all me… my fault", she sobbed into void of silence and despair. There was a sudden knock on the door.

"Hey Tamao! You've been in there all evening, what's up?", the caring voice of Yoh called out from the other side of the door. She froze in place.

Yoh slowly opened the door, "Hey, what are you--?" was all he said before he saw it. A thirteen year old girl covered in tears in a dark room.

He walked in, closing the door behind him and sat next to Tamao.

"Tamao? What's wrong?"

The tears came slower with his presence, and Tamao threw herself on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Master Yoh! I'm sorry I did that…"

Yoh looked puzzled, and raised an eyebrow. "Huh? Did what?", he replied, patting her back gently.

"I'm sorry… I raised my voice to you…", she stuttered out slowly. Yoh didn't laugh, he only smiled. For the next while she practically laid her heart on a dissection table for him. And he listened to every word carefully.

"Master Yoh… Anna will…"

"Anna will understand. She cares about you as much as I, we all do.", he stated warmly, holding her. Tamao couldn't forgive herself for raising her voice at Yoh, she just couldn't, there was no way—

All her thoughts ended when Yoh kissed her. He felt her pink hair run through his fingers.

He was doing this for two reasons; because he really did care about her, and because he knew it was all that was going through her mind. She needed to clear those thoughts away for awhile, in a very real sense… to relax.

She needed to stay sane, he knew that as soon as he saw her arms. There were three completely straight cuts on each one. Self-Mutilation does not imply someone is mentally unstable… but it does imply that it could be a very real possibility.

He hugged her tightly and whispered into her ear. "I will always care for you, Tamao".

If you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back at you…

* * *

Iacta: This a weird experiment I've done. I hope you got some enjoyment out of it. I might edit to improve later on but for now... Oneshot complete.


End file.
